The Price

The rain sought to continue
I wanted it all
But it didn't happen
I knew I would pay
For that and more
She ran
I hated her for that
I stayed to recover
I waited for this
For whatever door I chose
I thought there was
A prize
But in walking through
There was only a price

Sleeping

Don't tell me I'm sleeping here in the dark room with the talking overhead
I want to be there, but I find shadows instead
Something you said caught my attention and I knew that I couldn't let this go
Although I'm dreaming I need to be awake to tell you what I know
I'm sleeping here in the heavy feelings with the gread wide open
In my head peeling back taking sides and there's nowhere to hide
So they ask why don't I find what I'm looking for?

I tell them
"I do believe, there is no open door"

Don't tell me I'm far away slipping past the guard that isn't there
pulling myself together lying down with the dream; lying down it would seem
I'm speaking so softly you can't hear a word
and even if you did, you wouldn't know what you heard and somehow
Athough I'm far away I want to be at your side the live long day
Ticking time I thought I knew and selling all of the strength
Every drop I drew
So they ask why my heart looks for the last piece of sanity?

I tell them
"I'm down to my last piece of reality"

Don't tell me I'm sleeping

Patient Heart

Just listening
can lull me to sleep
With you here
I can fall asleep now
I love the way
and I can remember
I can dream about it forever
I like seeing
the only way I know
how
You, the teacher
I learned
With kind words
You, the doctor
My heart is the patient

Inconvenient Changes

I bathe in dreams
that reach further than I can
I sit around and wait
for fairytales to be accomplished
This is
what I ask for
This is not
what I preach
Like so many layers
I am there to peel
there inside
this shell
I grow out of pride
Seethe, and wither
somehow this too will fade
but instead of playing
dumb again
I will turn and
Save face
Changes that become inconvenient
because fingerprints of pain
are all around

Time

In a world that eludes my thoughts
and puts a dark blank area in
the middle of my being, I sit
wasting time and pulling truth
from nowhere
other than somewhere
I'd rather not be
Hell you know
I love this place
Strum my life
Just a song
I can never remember
when I open my eyes
from a far off place
feeling sad and lonely
alone with the time
Eastern Standard Bullshit

Burn

I am self absorbed
and sinking
can't function properly
within these boundaries
distracted
beyond my task
and everlasting anticipation
awaits
I don't completely
understand why
I think the answer is
somewhere
inside
Trembling from head to toe
I've captured
loneliness from you
I've been here
ever since
the day began to dawn
forever is only
a minute
and weeks
have come and gone
I ask you to teach me
to act better
I spit out images at you
like fire
from a dragon
I'm the drawbridge
and the moat that drowns your hope
of return
why resist
just stay
and burn

Clean Cuts

At least make it clean
Cut into me
Face the music
Face the night
There is no longer
an obligation
no directions
no matter what we do
this won't be right
i can see clearly
into the place I left behind
i can't remember
the words I said won't come
whether I lost or won
at least make this clean
leave the heart in two
I need the pieces
to live again
bleed slowly through
there is no obligation
no courtesy
anyway you try to slice it
I still come unglued
I can see so clearly
the night I stepped into
facing the dark
standing still, apart
knowing I lose my heart