Falling Apart

I don't take my time for kindness anymore
I don't expect
to find it with you
I don't tell you how I feel anymore
I don't think you care
just another bleeding heart?
No, dear
I'm just falling apart
This mess you can't clean
This puzzle you can't solve
This role you can't play
This sin you can't absolve
Why I let you fuck me over
Why I let you violate me
I'll never know
Whatever I felt once
Whatever fantasy
Was nothing more than
a hand hold for the fall?
I hit the ground anyway
broken and dazed at the bottom
but maybe
I hadn't come as far as I thought
I looked up and saw you
walking
You looked back like you expected something
You looked back like you expected nothing
But I felt the ache
The betrayal then
with every loving word
every soft touch
every warm gaze
every cold thrust
The illusion was strong because
I wanted to believe
I don't tell you how I feel anymore
I don't think you care
just another bleeding heart?
No, dear
I'm just falling apart